10/7/25 - On a beautiful October day, after a harvest-full-moon-Great-Horned-Owls-calling night, my beloved husband, Don, age 78, died, then a Raven flew over my head.
After a long 9-year decline, Don died of Lewy Body Dementia in a dementia facility he had been in for three plus years. I was with him in the afternoon, and even though he was unconscious, I think he heard me when I asked for two things: that he wait to die until my daughter got there (she did, and my son had visited in the morning) and that he send me a Raven, his favorite bird, after he died. After I had visited him, I had to run an errand, and my daughter, who was with him, then called to say he was gone. I drove back, and when I pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car, a Raven swooped down, flew low right over my head, and landed briefly on a nearby building, and then was gone. Rest in peace, Don, may you fly with the Ravens.
You all know him as a loving, kind, humorous, gifted teacher and deeply spiritually connected to nature. In place of a formal obit, let me tell you some things about Don you may or may not know.
Don was born in Philadelphia into a Quaker family and went to Germantown Friends School, then Swarthmore College, majoring in Comparative Religions. He was a talented musician who could sing, play the piano, and was an excellent tabla hand drum player. He even spent time in Calcutta, India, studying with a tabla guru there.
After college, Don moved to Berkeley, California, and in the hills kept careful and beautiful journals of the nature he encountered. He soon realized he was seeing things that little was known about. That planted the seed that later led him to begin writing about nature. After returning to Massachusetts, he taught at the Warehouse Cooperative School, where he met Bill Phillips, an editor at Little, Brown and Company/Hachette, whose daughter attended the school. Bill accepted Don's first book, Nature in Winter, and went on to become Don's editor for many years.
Don then began teaching at the Massachusetts Audubon Society and was in the process of writing a bird behavior guide when he met Lillian (already an avid hawk-watcher who came from a background in animal behavior and psychiatric social work), who took his course on Bird Behavior. As they say, the rest is history. Don and Lillian got married and over more than 30 years produced 35 Stokes Guides, including 3 volumes on bird behavior (instrumental in introducing a holistic approach to birds), backyard books such as the Bird Feeder, Hummingbird, and Bluebird books, beginner's guides, and the national The Stokes Field Guide to Birds of North America. Stokes' books have sold over 6 million copies. Don and Lillian produced and hosted the first PBS national television series on birds, Birdwatch with Don and Lillian Stokes, as well as Stokes Birds at Home, which 40 million viewers saw. They gave keynote talks and taught at birding festivals and Audubon societies across the country for years. They spent many winters on Sanibel Island birding and teaching others at Ding Darling National Wildlife Refuge through their Stokes Birding and Photography tours.They were Duck Stamp Judges and received a Partners in Flight National Conservation Award. Don belonged to many nature and conservation organizations, including the Nuttall Ornithological Club.
Befitting his beautiful, spiritual side, Don was a student of Haiku poetry, writing it for many years. Here is a fitting example.
Entering the wilds
Equipped to look at nature –
Wait! I am nature.
Don will be buried at Mt. Auburn Cemetery in MA (a famous birding hotspot) on Goldfinch Path (how fitting!!). There will be a private family Celebration of Life as per his wishes. If you would like to do something in remembrance of Don, send a contribution to the nature, birding, or conservation organization of your choice. Thank you.
